I wish I could punch you in the face.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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