Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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