Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
