I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize