how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
