No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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