and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
