He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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