I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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