Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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