did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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