# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
