That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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