sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize