I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
