He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
