What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
