I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize