Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
why do cheetos always look like penises
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Randomize
