Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
