the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
