do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
These tits shall not be calmed
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
