honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
