If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
