I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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