I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
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i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
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Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.