Writing my paper on freud at bar
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.