remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend