i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.