we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
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