It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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