I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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