I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
