Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
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Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
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I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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