and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
