Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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