So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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