at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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