I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
