Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
