just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
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What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
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SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize