Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
