Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
