Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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