I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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