Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
