i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
