Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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