Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
