I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
