great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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