So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
