The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I got inside last night via doggy door
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
