Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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