she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
What changed your mind?
Being sober
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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